Moving Update #2

I'm feeling rather defeated today because there is nothing new listed to see, and normally there are a few for weekend viewings. Wednesday we decided to step out of our town and look in a cool hip part of Oakland that would be fun to live in. In the past I have not considered moving through the tunnel because of what you get for the price. In our price range you would have to look for two bedrooms, which is fine, if the place is amazing, charming and worth it. I would be willing to pair down in an instant for something like that, but in reality, it doesn't exist and it only cemented what I already new about the area when I saw the house listed. Too much of a pie in the sky choice.  This place was built in 1919, and in the photos looked promising. It even said it had some basement storage. The minute we walked in, it smelled old and musty and was way too small, even though we were willing to pair down. Our bed would not even fit into the larger of the rooms. We went out to dinner afterwards, to take our minds off of the situation, but it really didn't help.
Today I am looking at another place that I don't want to go look at, mainly because I misread the location of this house and I don't like this neighborhood, but I'm looking anyway to confirm it for sure. I figure that we have only really just started looking and I don't want to grab something, only to be miserable again for a year or more. We are holding out hope that there will be more next week, but I'm not going to lie, the negative thoughts are creeping in about every 10 seconds.  Everyone keeps telling me to keep busy and not to worry, things will turn out fine. They usually do, but somewhere in my mind I keep hearing....."This time it won't." That nagging little voice keeps me from doing anything normal throughout the day, even though it would probably make me feel better to get my mind off of things. Instead I sit here hitting the refresh button one too many times and panicking :(    It also does not help to hear and see the creature out back roaming in the yard without a care in the world, and not knowing what torment she has caused. All because she can't be loud with her friends without being told to keep it down!
Since we have always rented, I have always fought to find the perfect, or near perfect nest for us. I feel like we at least deserve that, since we are unable to buy anything. Now I feel defeated and that even that is going to be taken away from us.   We seriously need some miracle to happen soon! There is just way too much on our plates right now that is causing too much stress.

Not the blogpost I was hopping to post today, but I'm keeping it all real and documenting the highs and lows, so hopefully when things are better I can see that sometimes it is darkest before the dawn.............